One of the beauties of life is finding that special someone who grooves to the same type of music you like, and loves everything about you, flaws and all.
No doubt, that is one of the dopest things ever.  But where does love, lust, submission and satisfaction meet?
Ok. So what I am asking is…like…you love this brother. He is the best thing since…well…your ex.
You married him and decided it was him and only him that you wanted to be with for the rest of your life.
You clean his ears, wash his dirty drawers, cook, clean and whip him as best you know how.  If someone were to ask you, you would be the first to say, “My man knows how to handle my stuff!”  I mean sex in your household is all the way live and to you, it just does not get any better than this.
He has spent months and months learning your every curve, your every hotspot.  He can just walk in the room, give you that look and you know exactly what is cumming next.  The ultimate pleasure!  But don’t get it twisted!  He is far from predictable.  You just get wet seeing him step out of the shower because you KNOW it’s going down.  He steps fresh out of the shower, looking as though he attempted to put on a towel.  But in all honesty, the towel was brought in the room to put underneath you, because you both know that as soon as he gives you coco buttah kisses below the navel while stroking your nipples lightly with his fingertips, you will be squirting and cumming all over the place.  “Oh my!”
I mean the sex is so good, you orgasm repeatedly.
In the heat of the moment, the shots of vodka you took earlier combined with this burst of love got you ready to climb your man like Mount Everest and give him da bidnezz!
You tease him by sitting just close enough to his manhood to feel the erection tickle the crease of your ass.
You bend over and whisper in his ear….”Baby, I’m gonna give you da bidnezz.” You immediately notice goosebumps arising on his neck.
“Baby, I want to make you feel as good as you just made me feel”, you say with confidence because you know can’t nobody give your man the bidnezz like you can!
“Tell me what you want baby. I wanna give you a night to remember.”
He pulls you close, his palms gliding slowly up and down the small of your back. 
It just gets no better than this.
He whispers in your ear, “Baby, grab ya rubber dick.”
(Ohhhhh shit girl, he bout to rock yo world again!) You think silently. You so pressed.
 
Without missing a beat, you make a dash for the nightstand energetically, and end back up somehow in perfect straddle position on his stomach.
He gently caresses your hand with the dildo in it and moves them both towards his sack.
Intoxicated off a few shots of vodka and multiple orgasms, you begin to smile and entertain.
He jumps and you feel like you are handling bidnezz on 1000, Gurl!
Then.
He grabs your hand and guides you and YOUR dildo to his ass!
You. Still smiling, but maybe not. Just a priceless confused look on your face
He finally horrifies you by telling you to try to stick it in.
At that moment….I mean that very moment….
You just…..?
Needless to say, everything has been awkward every since.  Like can you even go to your girls and let THAT cat out the box?
So my question then becomes, how should a woman react to her male partner requesting a dildo or strap-on being used on him during love making?

​Hey guys!  Sorry, but this one’s for you. 


You know who you are. The guy that’s full of feelings, wants to be all booed up, but has been hurt before, so now you front like you all hard.  You create profiles online because you want someone, but then you make sure you let it be known that you are just looking for “friends”, or friends with benefits.  


You also make sure that the square ugly chics know that you are free to Netflix and chill, but you aren’t ready for anything serious.


That’s cool.  You just gotta be prepared and ready for the tables when they turn on you. And trust me, they will.


It is damn near written in the book of life and karma is indeed a bitch.  So just remember that anything you dish out, you gotta be able to take.


Women are more advance in being a playa than most men.  When a woman is in her gaming phase, she will never kiss and tell.  She could be sexing your brother or your best friend and you will never know.  

Women are also very bold and straight forward when it comes to what they want—in the gaming phase, that is.


It is a thrill for them (some), just as it is a thrill for men.  


Some women are so slick, they will come to ya house, corner you in the bathroom and seduce you, walk out and walk right back into the arms of their boyfriend in the kitchen.

I know a lot of men already think women are sneaky, and they can be, but not all women and not all the time.


Bottom line, don’t start something you can’t finish.  Keep it real.  If you like the chic, but you aren’t sure you are ready to be committed, just say it.  There is a great chance she feels the same way.


If the sex is out of this world, but you can’t see yourself settling down with her, you can say that too!  At the end of the day, she knows, you know. And everyone is clear.  Trust me,  she will still deal with you on that level.


BUT!


You gotta remember, if you start chilling with her, like before 10PM and after 7AM, you are dating, or courting, or kicking it.  Whatever you wanna call it.  You are making yourself more than just a bootie call at that point.  Meaning, you are catching feelings.  

Catching feelings is cool as long as you understand the dynamics of it.  You guys will begin to spend time outside of the bedroom.  You will start to learn more about each other’s likes and dislikes.  She will then want to introduce you to family. And then…


Her phone rings. And its another dude.  She doesn’t answer. And then you pop that infamous question…..”Who’s that?”


Uh Oh.


Now you done messed around and made it official with that question!


Yeah, you didn’t know it but the translation to a female when you ask this question is…..”Girl, you’d better handle that, because you are mine now.”


That’s cool too because at this point, she is loving your company and your interests.  The only problem is when YOUR phone rings, or you get a text.  Or you turn the ringer off or lay ya phone face down in her presence.  You gave her the ammo to shoot all types of questions and claims on you, not just your phone.


So, guys, you can’t trip when she’s all in your business because you put her there.  Don’t put out what you can’t stomach to take.


If you didn’t want her all up in ya business, you should have put her out or left her spot before the sun came up.


Real talk.
​

ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER? Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall IN love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want them close and don’t mind their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.  Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation in a year or so.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not just finding the right person, it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.  I’ll also say that if one person in the relationship gets it and understands this and the other person doesn’t...failure is imminent. 

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God ​