During one of my routine talks with one of my children I was asked, how did I get past the hurt, pain and abuse of my past.

That question seemed to have ran circles in my mind.  It also hit me in a way that helps me to further understand the role that decisions and choices play on life events.
In support of this statement, I have to tell you that you decide your destiny.  NOT your past, not even your present.
You have to first face reality by acknowledging the fact that you are not perfect.

Then, take note of all your flaws, identify them as flaws, and determine which flaws are in need of changing and which ones are not.
Next you have to learn to love yourself above all else.  Loving yourself though, is not selfish, but in fact a selflessness that is developed when you become woke to the beauties of you that override your flaws.  

Once you embrace this new you, you do not need a bullhorn to tell the world you are a great person.  When you have a great energy, people cannot help but to see it and be attracted to it.  They notice you. And your chi is distributed so effortlessly that you yourself will not focus on this action, but everyone that comes into close proximity of you will feel it.
Another step in getting past all misfortune, hurt, and pain is to occupy your mind with the thought of progression.  It is most easy to allow negative energy to get into your headspace when you are not focused on a goal.
Make small goals. Make big goals. Make short-term and long-term goals, but make them as realistic as possible so that you don’t end up overwhelmed or depressed because you did not live up to your goals.

Always live to better yourself. Spend more time learning new things, engaging in different cultures, trying new foods, exploring a new activity or new place.  These are key components to better health overall, but more specifically improving the brain function, social skills, and perception of any life-altering event.

I could go on and on in regards to getting past misfortunes, but I will save that for a more appropriate time.
I just want you to know that no matter what obstacles have been placed in your normal pathway of walking, it does not automatically mean you have to fall because of it.  You can choose to simply step over the obstacle, pick the obstacle up and toss it to the side, or go in a completely different direction from the stagnant obstacle, to go down a new road filled with endless positive possibilities.

Oil of Oregano: The Essence of Good Health
When the famous Greek physician Hippocrates cut his finger or had an upset stomach, he reached for oil of oregano. That’s not something he would have tasted in a fragrant Greek pasta dish; it’s something he would have plucked from a waist-high bush growing freely in the European countryside. Hippocrates most likely would have had to ask for help to harvest those oregano plants if his intent was to make essential oil. The requirement for just one pound of oil of oregano forces the squeezing of one hundred pounds of oregano leaves.
The Origin of Oil of Oregano and Historical Uses
The oil of oregano that Hippocrates recommended for antiseptic use, stomach upset and respiratory problems is derived from a plant botanically named Origanum vulgare, not be confused with the spice called oregano used in cooking, Originum Marjoram. Origanum vulgare is true, wild oregano. Origanum Marjoram is a common, distant relative, more kin to marjoram than oregano. Steam is used to distill wild oregano oil, drawing the cinnamon and menthol essence from the dried herb’s leaves (read about cinnamon oil).
The Greeks may have been the first to tap into the health benefits of the oil for disorders of their day, but they weren’t the last people to recognize what the herb could do. During the Middle Ages, oil of oregano was used as a way to kill germs and preserve foods. In Britain’s 17th century, it was prescribed for head colds. Over the years and including today, it has served as an herbal defense against fungus, viruses, bacteria and parasites.
What the Hippocrates knew about the health properties of oregano oil is as true today as it was in ancient times. If he were here, he would still be recommending the oil of oregano to patients for the 50 anti-microbial compounds in each drop.
What Oregano Oil Can Do
The purifying, medicinal benefits in wild oregano oil come mainly from two compounds, carvacrol and thymol, with carvacrol being the major component effective in disabling harmful microorganisms and fighting infections.
Only an oil containing more than 70 percent of carvacrol concentrate is considered true oregano oil.
Oil of oregano’s most powerful medicinal punch is its antimicrobial feature. The natural, essential oil starves the most stubborn biological toxins and encourages immunity. It acts as an herbal multivitamin with A, C and E complexes and healthy minerals including zinc, copper, phosphorus, magnesium and iron. The calcium content of just 100 grams of oregano oil equals 16 times the calcium found in milk.
 
 
Oregano Oil Uses and Benefits
Anti-Bacterial
As well as tea tree oil, oil of oregano works as a natural antibiotic. Research shows that carvacrol’s high oxygen content mixes with the body’s water to create enough heat to shrink and destroy harmful microorganisms. This shores up the body’s immunity, reduces infections, eases digestion and kills germs. In lab tests, oil of oregano worked just as well against E. coli and staph infections as the antibiotic Vancomycin. One natural advantage of oil of oregano oil is that bacteria do not rebel against the natural oil the way they mutate in response to antibiotic treatment. This is welcome news for patients suffering with recurring skin, respiratory and sinus infections.
Anti-Fungal
Antibiotic resistance has literally created rapidly-growing fungal problems. The naturally-occurring candida albicans stomach fungus spreads unchecked after repeated prescription antibiotic use causing myriad problems for patients. Oil of oregano can be an alternative to deal with the candida-fueled symptoms of nail fungus, skin problems, allergies and yeast infections.
Anti-Parasitic
In Mexican studies, oregano oil proved completely effective against the water-borne, intestinal parasite giardia. In separate research, parasites were eliminated using a daily 600 mg treatment of oregano oil. Wild oregano oil is also believed to be effective against external parasites including mosquitoes, lice and fleas, making it a dependable, worldwide travelling companion for business executives and tourists.
Anti-Viral and Anti-Oxidant
Seasonal sore throats, colds and flu are pervasive illnesses that are most often treated for symptoms. The antiviral qualities of oregano oil can help restrain the worst common cold symptoms with treatment at a virus’s earliest onset. Thanks to its ability to neutralize free radicals, its possible oil of oregano can also slow cell damage along with the effects of neurodegenerative diseases and aging. Anti-oxidants are also thought to help in the prevention of cancer and heart disease.
Anti-Allergen and Anti-Inflammatory
Oregano oil has been shown to suppress allergy symptoms and diminish sinus congestion. For joint and muscle pain, the liquid form of oil of oregano has been proven to alleviate pain and swelling as well as and more quickly than prescription anti-inflammatory drugs, opening the way for a faster and more potent treatment for those in pain from sports injuries, arthritis and backache.

(This information was obtained in 2010 from an unnamed source)*

One of the hardest things to do is lose someone. And while losing someone in life can be a very difficult thing to bounce back from, losing someone to death is a unique event within itself.
In addition, contrary to popular belief, losing someone to a terminal illness can be just as traumatic as losing someone instantly.
Your response and ability to cope with these types of losses strongly depends on the present state of mind and body. If you do not consistently take care of your mind and body, tragedy affects you in the worse way. You can suffer nervous breakdowns, panic attacks and anxiety to say the least. You may also start viewing the world in a way that isolates yourself from the world, which also allows depression to set in.
Moreover, just so we are clear, there is no magical, mythical, or instant solution to dealing with any problem. Whether you are trying to lose weight or trying to cope with the loss of a loved one, you will first have to master the fact that patience and a normal process of grief has to take place in order for you to begin the healing process.
The same components come into play to produce a successful outcome, but each one of is treated differently.
Because I have had many life experiences associated directly with many of the above, I find it appropriate for me to share my experiences and findings with you.
You can do what you choose with it.
 
A Loved One
Losing a loved one is by far the most devastating loss of them all. People can tell you all day and all night that they are sorry for your loss or that they will be praying for you and your family, but what happens after those words?
What happens after the tragedy has happened; family and friends have come to sit with you in your time of need. You receive flowers, cards and food. It is all so very thoughtful, and people really do extend their heart out to you. Nevertheless, what happens after everyone leaves. The house is empty. All that is left are precious memories, obituaries, sweet nothings left behind and your unsorted thoughts about it all. You hang in a cloud. By cloud, I mean a zone or timeframe where things seem surreal. You go through phases of feeling hurt, numbness, regret, remorse, depression, and possibly even anxiety. The loss of a loved one can sometimes bring out feelings that you never even knew where there. It can almost at times take you to a place that feels as though a 6th sense is open and you began to view the world in a different light.
The reality is that it is very normal for all of these feelings to occur when dealing with the loss of a loved one. However, these events are not what define you or your outcome. How you choose to face and address these issues are the only determining factors.
You can grieve and your mind take you to a place of disconnect with the outside world. You may feel exhausted, fatigue and hopeless. You have to identify and face real-time feelings you may have as quickly as possible, as this is the first step to recovery…acknowledgement that a problem exists.
Next, you need to figure out ways to address the real-time feelings so that you can resume a normal happy life.
I can remember so many times losing loved ones and just feeling numb and hopeless. I felt as though it was a horrible dream that no matter what, I just could not awake from. That storm has passed.
I made a full recovery and you can too!

You just have to understand and incorporate these things:
1. A spiritual connection
2. A healthy diet
3. An active lifestyle
4. A support system
​
Of course, one might question what these things have to do with moving forward after losing someone. Your “bounce back” depends on your current mental and physical conditions.
A spiritual connection is the number one key component to recovery. Nothing in this world can be done successfully without a spiritual bond. Death or permanent disconnect from someone can change a person. People begin to doubt the love of God when they lose someone. People begin to question God.
No matter how bad you feel things get, never lose site of the only one who has the capability to bring you through.
Many ask the question, “Why, God?” We start doubting His loyalty towards us. Nevertheless, the more appropriate thoughts should be, “Why not me?”
I remember when I lost both a brother and a sister in the same year. My doctor was trying various medications to treat a host of illnesses, including panic attacks and anxiety. I mean I was exhausted going to visit her what seems like at least once a month.
One day she finally told me,” I can write you a prescription for anything you want, but nothing will heal you like prayer.” I could not believe these words came from a doctor!
I still live by these words to this day.
We all have to face death and the loss of someone special to us at some point in our lives. We have not been singled out. Death is a part of life. It is just very hard to deal with because death takes people away from us permanently in a physical sense. However, we have to kick our Faith into high gear and trust that God knows exactly what He allows to be done, and your loss remains within you.
You will have good days and bad days.
This is normal.
But I promise you that if you keep the faith, and dedicate your life towards finding Him, you will make it through and one day, help someone else make it through.
A healthy diet is also a key component because malnourishment during a time of loss can create certain chemical imbalances, which create even more problems on top of the grief that you are suffering. Water is a universal healer. Water can do so many wonderful things for the body, especially when the body is going through such emotional rollercoasters. Water keeps chemical balanced in your body, with a special emphasis on the brain. It also feeds every molecule, atom, organ and tissue, with all the goods necessary to help keep your mental, emotional, and physical ability at a performing level.
So in simple terms, eat right and drink plenty of water, no matter how good or bad you feel. It can only help you. Also, as a fun fact that you may not have been aware of, use blue dinner plates and tablecloths. Why? You ask. Studies prove that the color blue is an appetite suppressant.
 
Job Loss, Divorce, Foreclosure
For many Americans today, living paycheck to paycheck is the only way of survival. How many times have we robbed Peter to pay Paul? Everyday for some. But more importantly, we need our paychecks to live. Whether we are planning our next vacation, or trying to pay a mortgage for the month, the bottom line is we need that pay. Therefore, you can just imagine the discomfort, stress, and unlivable conditions a person faces whenever he or she loses their job. It can be a devastating blow.
I am reminded of a close friend I know who worked at his place of employment for almost 30 years. Just a few years prior to his retirement, he was laid off. The loss of his job created a domino effect and he soon found himself in a state of depression. He went for months not wanting to be in the company of his family nor friends. He felt less of a man because he could not provide for his family. He began sitting at home, just eating and sleeping after having to go to social services and apply for a welfare check. He isolated himself from everything and everyone. It was a sad thing to watch.
Many do not recover from this loss. But you do not have to be one of those people. There is hope. There is a bright side and it starts with faith.
I cannot apologize to you and say that I am sorry if I offend you with my spirituality and my religion. But I am a firm believer of my Creator, as I know that the only way you can overcome such hardships as death and unemployment, divorce and foreclosures, is by drowning yourself in His word.
Let me be the first to advise you that there are many earthly avenues you can try to solve your problems on your own, but there are none as stable, promising and fulfilling as God and His blessings.
When you find yourself in a place of darkness, such as losing your job, or losing a spouse and even your home, you can do one of two things. Either you can let that situation defeat you, or you CAN DEFEAT IT!
Once you have learned the real values in life, you can still celebrate and praise the Most High in the midst of your storm. You will learn that jobs, homes, cars and even partners of unequal yolk will come and go, but God's love is everlasting and outlast any and everything you will ever encounter in life.
You should view these situations in a way that allows you to smile when you walk away from that job, because now you are freed up to enter your real destiny.
My belief is that however your life goes is the way it is supposed to go. This means, if you lose your home to foreclosure, it is because God has something better in store for you. And just because I am saying better, does not mean it is something bigger. Big things come in small packages. God may be freeing you and your money up, because His purpose for you is for you to travel more. Maybe your ex walked out of your life because it just was not your time to be with someone. Maybe, just maybe, you are dreaming too small and He is positioning you for someone more honorable than your ex.
I have had my heart broken many times before. But life goes on. And life is beautiful. Even after losing someone, after having your paycheck snatched from you. Life still goes on.
The key to moving on is to occupy your mind with positive vibes. It can be the word, it can be music. It can be just surrounding yourself with nothing more than the four walls of your room. Peace is a unique and most praiseful thing. You should seek more intangible things in life as they bring you much more joy than things you can touch.
Talk, talk, talk. It is a great form of therapy. Do not be afraid to voice how you feel. You would be surprised to find out how many people close to you are going through even greater struggles than your own. Voicing how you feel and listening to others also helps you to make light of your situation, while having sympathy for others.
Walk.
Pray.
Love.
Smile.
And do them frequently as our time is very limited and doing the opposite makes for shorter days.
I hope this helps you at least a little.
And if not, I will try harder the next time.
​

​You over there rolling your eyes and turning up your nose because you are jealous of the car I drive, the curls in my hair, the way my jacket matches my boots and how my clothes are fitting. You scandalized my name because you have troubled kids and 4 baby daddy’s and you saw a picture of me and my kids interacting together in a way that shows unity and assumed that we have it all together.

You are now gossiping about me, unable to look me in the eye because someone told you I lived in a glorious place.
But did they mention me being homeless prior?

I am, because He is.  Let that sink in.

I have had many struggles to overcome in my life just to get to where you “think” you want to be.
I was born with severe heredity hearing loss.
I lost my best friend at the age of 9, which was my grandfather.
I was primarily raised without my biological father, being force to juggle my bipolar relationship with my abusive, yet disciplinary of a stepfather.
I rebelled against my mother and started doing devious things in school, even though I was a straight “A” student.  I was a tom boy who was misunderstood. I ran the streets.
I also waited until my 12th grade year to completely destroy what was supposed to be the grand finale.  So while other students were planning for prom and senior picnics, I was setting fire to the school’s bathrooms and lunchrooms.  Skipping class just to roam the halls with my homeboys.
My assistant principal along with the guidance counselor tried numerous things to pacify my outrageous behavior.  Then I got expelled.  And life stood still.
I sat in my room for ten days with nothing but my reflections on what I may have just done being careless.  Did I jus mess up my whole life with only 3 months of school left?
Wow.  With prayers coming from my mother and grandmother, it was decided that I deserved another chance. I went to another regular high school, didn’t miss one day, never late or absent. Graduated.  And I can’t tell you the joy over my heart to see my grandmother in the audience smiling from ear to ear, because she never did.
I went on to cosmetology school and started working.  Met the alleged man of my dreams.  I stuck a prayer in my bible stating that I wanted to get pregnant so bad.Got pregnant, which doctor’s told me I never would be able to do. Then lost my little man. He only lived for 4  hours.
  Found out weeks later that the man of my dreams had a baby with another woman just 10 days before i had and lost my son.  Found him two days later with yet another woman, while I was recovering. Mom told me not to go to his house looking for trouble. That’s what I found.  Hit him with my car after cutting him repeatedly across the chest.
Suffered greatly. But I wrote a prayer and stuck it in the bible I got from my grandfather. My prayer stated: Lord, I don’t just want to get pregnant, I want to have a healthy baby.
Got pregnant and got the news on my first son’s birthday.A healthy baby boy. Blessed twice to have another healthy baby just 13 months later.
Thus my reason for always stating be careful what you ask God for. He will give it to you. Will you be ready to receive it?
Then, another fall on my heart. Lost my oldest brother to complications of HIV at the beginning of one year.  Within the same year, lost my baby sister. She got hit by a truck.
That’s when life as I knew it ended.  I went through major depression for years. It had gotten so bad that I started having major panic attacks and anxiety attacks.  Couldn’t drive, eat, sleep, leave my house. For well over a year.
At the time, I had no idea I was going through a nervous breakdown.  It wasn’t until many years later, when speaking with my doctor that I was told that I had miraculously recovered from a nervous breakdown.
Even after all of that, I went on to serve briefly in the military.  I went back to school and got several different certificates and degrees.  I was able to not only recover , but be an inspiration and blessing to others going through.
And I said all of that to say….you do not know what those you are envious of have gone through. Don’t hate on things that you would never want to go through in the first place.  I didn’t ask for life to happen the way it did. But I don’t regret any of it and everyday I wake up now, I see the real reason I am still here….because LIFE….is for the living.
Don’t hate, congratulate.
Originally posted Oct. 28, 2015

​Let’s face it.
We have Satan himself as president. The world has become more and more tainted and abrupt.  The harsh reality that we as parents come to is if we don’t teach our kids survival skills as quickly and as young as possible, they will still hear about those scary and detrimental topics from the streets.  The streets and schools don’t love our children as we do. 
We would like to think that our children are angels and their little pretty ears and tongues are as sacred as the bible, but reality says differently.
I remember accusing my husband of looking at porn for about a week straight.  I was cursing him out every day because at the time, no one else lived in the house except for his mother, our 7-year old son, and our 6-year old daughter.  
One morning, after my husband left for work, my son came and asked me for password to my computer. With morning breath still fresh in the air, I lifted my head from the pillow long enough to blurt out the password and then proceeded back to another intimate session with my pillow being over protected by my saliva.
Once the kids went off to school, I finally got up and headed to the computer. Ads poppin up everywhere.  I can’t click on anything because there is just so many X-rated popups.  I finally make my way into the history logs and realize that my 7-year old son was the one who had been watching porn on my computer.
Funny thing is, when we confronted him about it, he was so innocently truthful about it.
“Son, is someone at school ‘touching’ you inappropriately?”
“No mom.”
“…umm…it’s ok baby.  Just tell mommy what going on.”
“Nothing, mommy.  Sometimes I just think about girls a lot.”
What an eye-opening, jaw-dropping experience! Man!
I was so confused yet so happy.  With all the same sex activity taking place in the world today, I was so happy to find out my son…was ALL boy. Lol.  However, I was also confused because I felt as though he was too young to know of these things.
But just to play it safe, I sat my son down, explained the basics of sex and also diseases.  It was at this time, I showed my children what herpes looked like.  Some may disagree, but I felt as though I would prefer for my kids to learn about the harsh realities of life by listening and not always by experience.
We cannot always protect our children, though.  But we can prepare them by following a few simple rules:

1. Show your children love.  Respect your feeling and listen to them and their needs.  Most often times, kids exhibit certain negative behaviors outside of the home because they lack attention within the home.
2. Spend quality time.  Just because the family participated in an event together, does not suffice for one on one time with that child or children.  Give each child some one on one time.
3. Stay involved. Even as your kids grow older and more independent, stay engaged.  Ask questions, participate in conversations with both your kids and their friends.
4. Make sure your kids are of a spiritual upbringing. While many people have their doubts about religion and spirituality, it is far better to bring a child up in a setting of religion than not.  The purpose of this is to provide the child with morals.  Without morals, our children are capable of many crimes, without remorse.
5. Teach them survival of the fittest.  Children need to be taught early on that they will have good days and bad days.  Teach them how to prepare for and appreciate bad days, yet taking advantage of the good days.

So the bottom line is, of course, for our first line of defense for protecting our children from having sex before marriage is abstinence, but more kids are having sex at younger ages these days. One of the main reasons is because of social media.  Another reason is that the media, rappers, and everyone else in the limelight have given our little princes and princesses the impression that it is cool to take pics on IG while rollin up a J, or posing provocatively with booty shots.  This is an example of advertisement.  And what is the purpose of advertisement?  To sell your product or service.  These kids are too careless to understand this.  So they buy into it.
But what does this mean?  They will do exactly what they want to do regardless of what we as parents tell them is best.  So the next best thing to do is to keep it a ban with these kids and advise them to strap up. Ok. Sorry.  For my older readers, keep it real with your kids and tell them to use condoms, jimmy hats, or whatever your choice of words are for your household.

You meet and you're glad to see she looks like her photos! You're out having a great time she is having fun in the moment and everything is great! We're both laughing, dancing, smiling having a great time because you have made her feel comfortable, secure and happy!  Everything is going as you had hoped, you get a little kiss or a BIG kiss or something more....you say goodnight and part ways. The next day comes & it's like "everything was bad", naughty. Can't do that again! What happened? ..BAD GIRL! Did you get reprimanded by your friends or daughters? I'm confused, I'm still trying to figuring this dating thing out, it is not an easy task....Any tips? Please help by commenting. Stay tuned for Round 3.......

A very touchy subject, that affects more people than you know.

Some events are known to cause anxiety.  But everyones level of anxiety and how their body deals with change and events in life are different. Yes, this we all know.
However, for the millions of you who suffer from more severe anxiety and panic, there is more to it.  

Anxiety and Panic is the result of how your body reacts to something. Anything. Everything.

​If you are like me, your first experience with panic felt as though you were having a heart attack (as though we know what that feels like).  
Anxiety and panic go hand in hand and is one of the most common, yet most difficult sicknesses to explain from the standpoint of the person actually having a moment of anxiety or panic.  It is difficult for you to tell someone how your heart is racing and your negative thoughts are racing and how you are afraid to do this, need to do that, can’t breathe, need company or want to get away from all these people immediately.
So, it is already a difficult thing to experience, but even more troubling to try to explain.  But to add to it, it is almost IMPOSSIBLE for someone who does not experience these feelings to understand.  
This within itself can cause an even greater amount of anxiety.  Trying to figure out if you are going crazy, how long will this feeling last, will it ever go away, feeling lonely or depressed, not knowing how to tell your family or friends what you go through in fear they will just laugh at you or brush it off.  Restlessness, visits to the doctor, and even medication and therapy you may be considering.
Don’t worry! You are not alone and there are many things you can do to decrease anxiety and panic.  But first, you have to understand the origin of it.
You should also know that there is never a one solution that works for everyone.  This goes for any situation.  So do not worry if you try things and they do not work.  The key thing is to keep trying and realize it is a struggle for many, but there is a bright side and you will see it.
9 times out of 10, anxiety occurs as a result of some life event.  Could be big. Could be small.  Doesn’t matter.  In my opinion and experience though, there are a few different parts of this that are not talked about much.
Although these unfortunate things can occur as a result of a life changing event, say such as someone close to you dying, or having a baby, marriage or divorce…there is also something else to consider that contributes to the origin or anxiety and panic.
The condition of the mind and body at the time that a life-changing event occurs has a lot to do with how the body will react to that event.
Like say for instance,  if you have a vitamin deficiency, or your body is dehydrated or brain is malnourished at the time this event happens, there is a good chance that you will suffer from future anxiety and/or panic.  
At the end of the day, panic disorders are in short, a chemical imbalance.  That chemical is serotonin.  When you are already depriving your body and brain of the necessary nutrients needed, you cannot be surprised when your brain doesn’t cooperate.
This is one of the reasons why doctors try medications as the only thing this does is attempt to restore balance to serotonin levels.
However, before you run off to your doctor and let them experiment on you with various medications, here are a few things you can try to restore the chemical imbalance naturally and safely.

1. Become Aware.  Know that while, yes, you are going through tough times, this too shall pass.
2. Be observant.  Pay attention to things that make your anxiety worse or better.
3. Become knowledgeable. Explore information from your doctor, family, and friends.  Don’t be afraid to talk about how you feel or even research it on your own.
4. Exercise! Yes. Exercise is one of the best things you can do to reduce or eliminate stress.  This doesn’t mean you have to go run a marathon.  Walk around the house, the neighborhood.
5. Pay attention to what you eat!  Yes- you need your veggies, fruits and so forth.  This does not mean you can’t enjoy ice cream and chips, but do these things in moderation.
6. Drink water!!!!!!   You will be amazed at what water can do.  There are too many benefits of water in relation to the body to name at this time.  If you do nothing else, increase your water intake and you will notice the benefits immediately.
7. Avoid caffeine and stimulants.
8. Breathe.  Practice breathing from your diaphragm.  It will help you in those instances were you are at the height of panic and need to calm down.  Breathe in slowly with your mouth closed while counting to 4. Hold while slowly counting to 7. Then breathe out while slowly counting to 8.
9. Enjoy life. Laugh, love, smile.  Even if you do not feel like it.  
10. Get outside of the house and absorb some natural vitamin D from the sun’s energy. 
11. Listen to music. Whatever your preference is. 
12. Meditate & Pray. You will need a spiritual outlet to control and guide you through those things you feel you have lost control over.

You wake up to your regular “Good Morning” text from the usual: may be your BFF, could be your kid, mom dukes, or that pretend-to-be significant other.  You reply back with the common and expected Good Morning.

You finally open your eyes and sigh at the realization that it is now time to get yourself up and together and face the world’s music today, no matter how fast or slow the melody is.  You even demand from yourself today that you will have a great attitude which in turn will produce a great day.

You say your prayers to the Most High and proceed.

You are now ready to face the world after you post on all your social media your positive thoughts for the day.
Before you get to work, you get that phone call which starts the negative path.

You get to work, your boss is being extra, you have some coworkers that you can’t stand the site of, some coworkers that can’t stand the site of you. You also try to overlook all of this and be productive, but then your day wouldn’t be complete without the circulating drama of the day.

Before lunchtime, your positivity has taken a setback, and you are now looking for the energy you started with.  
And if you are like most that is of age to read this, you have at least a parent, grandparent, aunt, or other caretaker that you are now giving advice to or that may be in need of a helping hand.

You are trying your best to follow the word you heard on this past Sunday at church, but even some of the actions of the church now have you evaluating the worth of tithe giving and fellowship every Sunday.  You notice that even while sitting in the church, there is gossipers, liars, cheaters, and other sinners carrying out there sins right in your face at the same time you are trying to receive a blessing of good word.

You gather with family, only to hear about who did what to Joe Blow and how aunt Vickie is not speaking to Keiysha because she owes her son-in-law 7.50.  Your alleged best friend invites you out to a night of partying and drinking, even though she knows you are trying to cut back on your alcohol intake and settle down.

Road rage, traffic jams, baby mamma drama, rent’s due, car problems, kid’s working your nerves, parents sick, doctor putting you on meds, you’ve gained 5 lbs., you have no help at home, job doesn’t pay enough, taxes are high and everything else is low!

How do you keep your self in the “positive” so your well-being doesn’t go into the “negative”?

Reality check first.  Face the fact that you cannot change others or their circumstances.  You can only give a good word of encouragement and pray. 

Don’t sweat the small stuff.  And I repeat, don’t sweat the small stuff.  So many things that you cannot change, you cannot change.  So how doesn’t worrying about them or dwelling on them help? It can only help you to an early grave.
You cannot make traffic go away. So why get worked up about it.  Instead, use this time to think of pleasant things such as where you would like to take your next vacation.  Even if you know you do not have the money, just dream.  This process retrains your brain and gives you a way to turn a negative into a positive.

When you start to get annoyed by family & friends, and even your job,  just stop and imagine them not being there anymore.  While yes, they all are a pain at times, but just think of how boring and lonely and hard life would be if you had no family, no friends and no job.

Your first thought may be, “Oh, I don’t need so & so.”  And maybe at the end of the day, that person just may be someone or something that produces negativity in your life. Simple answer.  Get rid of it.  Don’t keep complaining about it, do something about it.  Confront the situation or leave the situation.

Holding on to drama and negative vibes can have a very bad effect on your body and dampen your spirits.  It can change your outlook on life, not to mention it can have you in the hospital or possibly suffering from depression.

No! Don’t put yourself through this.

You should respect yourself and your worth.  Put no one before you and your needs.  Yes your job may need you, your kids may need you.  But if you continue to live for everyone else, your days will be numbered.  It is wonderful that you want to move up at your place of employment.  It is always a good feeling at the end of the day to feel as though you have accomplished everything you set out to do in respect to your kids and your obligations. If you want a cookie, everyone sells them.  Good for you.  Now.
When do you accomplish what YOU want to do in life or just for the day?

How often does the people that need things from you give to you?

Exactly.  You will find that you will always have people and things depending on you.  And that’s normal.

But in order to stay positively functioning, you have to make time for those things you like, love and desire.  Big or small.  

If you have a hobby, or want to visit someplace or someone, do it.  If you want to sit at home and do nothing all day, it is perfectly fine and guess what?  No one will die upon you resting your body and mind.

While life requires us to work hard and play harder.  There was another part of that quote that got left off…..rest.  Both before and after working hard and playing harder.

Lastly,  invite others into your positive energy.  Be a leader and not a follower.  Lead that negative energy from others into your positive energy.  One of two things will happen.  They will respect and accept your energy and be encouraged to take part, or they will be pessimistic and walk away.  Either way, you win.  

Take charge of your life.  Don’t let others dictate who you are.  If you don’t want to be a part of negativity, let it be known and live your life in such a way that others have no doubt as to who you are.  
Engage in more positive ways of thinking, even if they are unrealistic at that moment.
Retrain your way of thinking as it will show in your actions.
Rest. Pray. And stop trying to keep up with the Joneses aka the media.
Reconnect with nature and smile, as these things are just about the only things left that are free.

  Did you know that some of the most prominent and most successful businesses are either managed or started by black women?
  Outside of the stereotypical statements that have always been in circulation about the negative attitudes and outlooks of the black woman, it has to be blasted at this time about the positive effects the black woman has in the workforce and in the world.

   What makes the black woman so different from any other race or gender?  Her drive.  Her passion.  Her inherited gift of patience and direct way of dealing with stress and hardship.

   The black woman is born with the necessary tools to nurture her children without sparing the rod or spoiling the child.  The black woman knows how to allow her man to feel like a man while at the same time being his backbone in the midst of him doing so.
  While everyone plays an important role in the various parts of this world, women—unlike men—are in a constant juggle with life and the important elements that allows a household and workplace to proceed without fail.  We think in our sleep.  We dream about our next task in the morning in respect to preparing kids for school, making sure our men leave the house pleased with last night’s sexual encounter, pondering on what to cook tonight.  We hope by the time we get to work, we will have eaten something and we are not about to face the never ending headaches of work.  Then the thoughts of our physical being, spiritual connections and rank in this world set in.  As woman, we have been known to overthink, be control freaks and to over analyze.  These same factors that are used against us also have a reverse effect in the workforce in that we use these same qualities to solve problems at work and allow us to become leaders that are very detail-oriented.

   Thus, the workforce is no different.  Not to bash or put down anyone else of a different status, but do your homework and you will find that black women have been the backbone for not only their men, but also some of the most successful businesses to ever exist.
   Some of the more obvious names we tend to think of when it comes to successful black women are names such as Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama and Beyoncé Knowles.  But there are many other successful black women that contribute to the overall makeup of the world as we know it.  Among these strong women include, but are not limited to:

• Rosalind Brewer, President and CEO of Sam’s Club/ WalMart Stores of US
• Joyce Banda, Former President of Malawi (1st Female President)
• Ertharin Cousin, Executive Director of World Food Programme of the United Nations
• Helen Gayle, President & CEO of CARE in the US
• Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Coordinating Minister of the Economy & Minister of Finance in Nigeria

…just to name a few.

So I was speaking with one of my younger brothers the other day when he brought what I thought to be a very intriguing concept to my attention that I never thought was possible. 

Of course, I am one of the many parents that struggle with the headaches and blessings of having a teenage child(ren).

So in the midst of me ranting and raving about my 18 year old’s concept of his future in general, my brother, being younger than I but older than my son, sends my mind into overload with information that I never once considered.

He, meaning my little brother, was simultaneously telling me about his own way of thinking and how he feels that college is not for everyone. I added on my musically inclined perception of how young artist nowadays sit back at home, create beats, add lyrics or a hook, and produce a hit in a matter of minutes.

My brother said, exactly….so what makes you think that such a brain of this capacity, one that can produce hits so quickly, would want to slow themselves down with college and learn slow, get results from college slow and so forth and so on.

He then hit me with the statement that the new millennials want instant gratification for their instant productions of work.

Wow!

I’ve never once looked at the situation this way.  I was the parent who almost died and went to heaven (or hell) when my son confronted me with the smack in my face of not wanting to go to college. I mean I was thinking like….WTH?!

But, in most instances, just as you have to work in a relationship involving the opposite sex, you also have to work and compromise in situations involving your children.   You have to understand they are not you.  They do not have the same interest at heart.  Your passion is not their passion.

Ironically, at the same time of me fussing my children out for not wanting to go to college, I am sitting back staring at my student loan statement.  A bill that may live longer than myself.  

The hardest thing to do in this new millennial phase is to adjust and hop on board with the beliefs and actions of today’s society.  

While you may not agree with any of it, you have to live in this new age of change.

So what can you do?

Talk. But listen more.  Accept. And understand the world you live in is all about change.  Take into consideration what your parents and grandparents used to say about you and your lifestyle.  They always reminded you of how times are changing and that the music they used to listen to was of more value than yours.  Life had more worth then versus now.

So it is the same concept.

Accept change and realize that in this day and age, success is defined differently.  Quantity sometimes outweighs quality because quality as we used to know it has changed.

The new millennials want instant gratification because they instantly produce the work.  Staying in school for 4 years to learn something they can learn on YouTube in 30 minutes concludes to many this is a waste of time.

It begins with a physical attraction. This tends to be a negative for me because I am not photogenic. But the big killer is online sites require you post your AGE! Who wants to date a 50 something year old? I've been told I look 45 and of course I'd prefer that number. I have made contact with a handful of women in the past 4 months only to be ignored by them after chatting or setting up a date, they just disappear. It's also difficult because women 45+ are smarter, independent and wiser from their previous relationships, and most have careers and say they don't need a man (do they?). A couple of things that turn me off is they post their profile pics with their pets, I don't want to date their pets! (99% have pets). Also they post pics with 2 or more ppl, now how can I tell which one is you? And they make it clear, "not looking for a hook-up", but are they? Most women want long term relationships but as we know that takes time, but how much time? Remember girls, we are a male specie, so...maybe loosen up a bit! tick tock...tick tock...

I got a chance to experience both sides: being a worker at FC/DSS as well as being a client there.

Fact is, I got the opportunity to work under not one, not two, but three very unhappy older white women who each let me know that because I was a younger black female they despised the grounds upon which I walked.
I remember my first supervisor telling me just two weeks after she employed me, "If I knew you owned a salon, I would have never given you a job here."
She allowed a coworker to falsely accuse, slander my name, and then advised me they would be getting rid of my position but I would be getting a "promotion". I then was turned over to another nightmare who ended up having the same feelings for me. Just hatred.  
This writing is not to slander or even to speak negatively, but rather to inform you of the injustices that occur in many employer to employee relations.