During one of my routine talks with one of my children I was asked, how did I get past the hurt, pain and abuse of my past.
That question seemed to have ran circles in my mind. It also hit me in a way that helps me to further understand the role that decisions and choices play on life events.
In support of this statement, I have to tell you that you decide your destiny. NOT your past, not even your present.
You have to first face reality by acknowledging the fact that you are not perfect.
Then, take note of all your flaws, identify them as flaws, and determine which flaws are in need of changing and which ones are not.
Next you have to learn to love yourself above all else. Loving yourself though, is not selfish, but in fact a selflessness that is developed when you become woke to the beauties of you that override your flaws.
Once you embrace this new you, you do not need a bullhorn to tell the world you are a great person. When you have a great energy, people cannot help but to see it and be attracted to it. They notice you. And your chi is distributed so effortlessly that you yourself will not focus on this action, but everyone that comes into close proximity of you will feel it.
Another step in getting past all misfortune, hurt, and pain is to occupy your mind with the thought of progression. It is most easy to allow negative energy to get into your headspace when you are not focused on a goal.
Make small goals. Make big goals. Make short-term and long-term goals, but make them as realistic as possible so that you don’t end up overwhelmed or depressed because you did not live up to your goals.
Always live to better yourself. Spend more time learning new things, engaging in different cultures, trying new foods, exploring a new activity or new place. These are key components to better health overall, but more specifically improving the brain function, social skills, and perception of any life-altering event.
I could go on and on in regards to getting past misfortunes, but I will save that for a more appropriate time.
I just want you to know that no matter what obstacles have been placed in your normal pathway of walking, it does not automatically mean you have to fall because of it. You can choose to simply step over the obstacle, pick the obstacle up and toss it to the side, or go in a completely different direction from the stagnant obstacle, to go down a new road filled with endless positive possibilities.
Oil of Oregano: The Essence of Good Health
When the famous Greek physician Hippocrates cut his finger or had an upset stomach, he reached for oil of oregano. That’s not something he would have tasted in a fragrant Greek pasta dish; it’s something he would have plucked from a waist-high bush growing freely in the European countryside. Hippocrates most likely would have had to ask for help to harvest those oregano plants if his intent was to make essential oil. The requirement for just one pound of oil of oregano forces the squeezing of one hundred pounds of oregano leaves.
The Origin of Oil of Oregano and Historical Uses
The oil of oregano that Hippocrates recommended for antiseptic use, stomach upset and respiratory problems is derived from a plant botanically named Origanum vulgare, not be confused with the spice called oregano used in cooking, Originum Marjoram. Origanum vulgare is true, wild oregano. Origanum Marjoram is a common, distant relative, more kin to marjoram than oregano. Steam is used to distill wild oregano oil, drawing the cinnamon and menthol essence from the dried herb’s leaves (read about cinnamon oil).
The Greeks may have been the first to tap into the health benefits of the oil for disorders of their day, but they weren’t the last people to recognize what the herb could do. During the Middle Ages, oil of oregano was used as a way to kill germs and preserve foods. In Britain’s 17th century, it was prescribed for head colds. Over the years and including today, it has served as an herbal defense against fungus, viruses, bacteria and parasites.
What the Hippocrates knew about the health properties of oregano oil is as true today as it was in ancient times. If he were here, he would still be recommending the oil of oregano to patients for the 50 anti-microbial compounds in each drop.
What Oregano Oil Can Do
The purifying, medicinal benefits in wild oregano oil come mainly from two compounds, carvacrol and thymol, with carvacrol being the major component effective in disabling harmful microorganisms and fighting infections.
Only an oil containing more than 70 percent of carvacrol concentrate is considered true oregano oil.
Oil of oregano’s most powerful medicinal punch is its antimicrobial feature. The natural, essential oil starves the most stubborn biological toxins and encourages immunity. It acts as an herbal multivitamin with A, C and E complexes and healthy minerals including zinc, copper, phosphorus, magnesium and iron. The calcium content of just 100 grams of oregano oil equals 16 times the calcium found in milk.
Oregano Oil Uses and Benefits
As well as tea tree oil, oil of oregano works as a natural antibiotic. Research shows that carvacrol’s high oxygen content mixes with the body’s water to create enough heat to shrink and destroy harmful microorganisms. This shores up the body’s immunity, reduces infections, eases digestion and kills germs. In lab tests, oil of oregano worked just as well against E. coli and staph infections as the antibiotic Vancomycin. One natural advantage of oil of oregano oil is that bacteria do not rebel against the natural oil the way they mutate in response to antibiotic treatment. This is welcome news for patients suffering with recurring skin, respiratory and sinus infections.
Antibiotic resistance has literally created rapidly-growing fungal problems. The naturally-occurring candida albicans stomach fungus spreads unchecked after repeated prescription antibiotic use causing myriad problems for patients. Oil of oregano can be an alternative to deal with the candida-fueled symptoms of nail fungus, skin problems, allergies and yeast infections.
In Mexican studies, oregano oil proved completely effective against the water-borne, intestinal parasite giardia. In separate research, parasites were eliminated using a daily 600 mg treatment of oregano oil. Wild oregano oil is also believed to be effective against external parasites including mosquitoes, lice and fleas, making it a dependable, worldwide travelling companion for business executives and tourists.
Anti-Viral and Anti-Oxidant
Seasonal sore throats, colds and flu are pervasive illnesses that are most often treated for symptoms. The antiviral qualities of oregano oil can help restrain the worst common cold symptoms with treatment at a virus’s earliest onset. Thanks to its ability to neutralize free radicals, its possible oil of oregano can also slow cell damage along with the effects of neurodegenerative diseases and aging. Anti-oxidants are also thought to help in the prevention of cancer and heart disease.
Anti-Allergen and Anti-Inflammatory
Oregano oil has been shown to suppress allergy symptoms and diminish sinus congestion. For joint and muscle pain, the liquid form of oil of oregano has been proven to alleviate pain and swelling as well as and more quickly than prescription anti-inflammatory drugs, opening the way for a faster and more potent treatment for those in pain from sports injuries, arthritis and backache.
(This information was obtained in 2010 from an unnamed source)*
One of the hardest things to do is lose someone. And while losing someone in life can be a very difficult thing to bounce back from, losing someone to death is a unique event within itself.
In addition, contrary to popular belief, losing someone to a terminal illness can be just as traumatic as losing someone instantly.
Your response and ability to cope with these types of losses strongly depends on the present state of mind and body. If you do not consistently take care of your mind and body, tragedy affects you in the worse way. You can suffer nervous breakdowns, panic attacks and anxiety to say the least. You may also start viewing the world in a way that isolates yourself from the world, which also allows depression to set in.
Moreover, just so we are clear, there is no magical, mythical, or instant solution to dealing with any problem. Whether you are trying to lose weight or trying to cope with the loss of a loved one, you will first have to master the fact that patience and a normal process of grief has to take place in order for you to begin the healing process.
The same components come into play to produce a successful outcome, but each one of is treated differently.
Because I have had many life experiences associated directly with many of the above, I find it appropriate for me to share my experiences and findings with you.
You can do what you choose with it.
A Loved One
Losing a loved one is by far the most devastating loss of them all. People can tell you all day and all night that they are sorry for your loss or that they will be praying for you and your family, but what happens after those words?
What happens after the tragedy has happened; family and friends have come to sit with you in your time of need. You receive flowers, cards and food. It is all so very thoughtful, and people really do extend their heart out to you. Nevertheless, what happens after everyone leaves. The house is empty. All that is left are precious memories, obituaries, sweet nothings left behind and your unsorted thoughts about it all. You hang in a cloud. By cloud, I mean a zone or timeframe where things seem surreal. You go through phases of feeling hurt, numbness, regret, remorse, depression, and possibly even anxiety. The loss of a loved one can sometimes bring out feelings that you never even knew where there. It can almost at times take you to a place that feels as though a 6th sense is open and you began to view the world in a different light.
The reality is that it is very normal for all of these feelings to occur when dealing with the loss of a loved one. However, these events are not what define you or your outcome. How you choose to face and address these issues are the only determining factors.
You can grieve and your mind take you to a place of disconnect with the outside world. You may feel exhausted, fatigue and hopeless. You have to identify and face real-time feelings you may have as quickly as possible, as this is the first step to recovery…acknowledgement that a problem exists.
Next, you need to figure out ways to address the real-time feelings so that you can resume a normal happy life.
I can remember so many times losing loved ones and just feeling numb and hopeless. I felt as though it was a horrible dream that no matter what, I just could not awake from. That storm has passed.
I made a full recovery and you can too!
You just have to understand and incorporate these things:
1. A spiritual connection
2. A healthy diet
3. An active lifestyle
4. A support system
Of course, one might question what these things have to do with moving forward after losing someone. Your “bounce back” depends on your current mental and physical conditions.
A spiritual connection is the number one key component to recovery. Nothing in this world can be done successfully without a spiritual bond. Death or permanent disconnect from someone can change a person. People begin to doubt the love of God when they lose someone. People begin to question God.
No matter how bad you feel things get, never lose site of the only one who has the capability to bring you through.
Many ask the question, “Why, God?” We start doubting His loyalty towards us. Nevertheless, the more appropriate thoughts should be, “Why not me?”
I remember when I lost both a brother and a sister in the same year. My doctor was trying various medications to treat a host of illnesses, including panic attacks and anxiety. I mean I was exhausted going to visit her what seems like at least once a month.
One day she finally told me,” I can write you a prescription for anything you want, but nothing will heal you like prayer.” I could not believe these words came from a doctor!
I still live by these words to this day.
We all have to face death and the loss of someone special to us at some point in our lives. We have not been singled out. Death is a part of life. It is just very hard to deal with because death takes people away from us permanently in a physical sense. However, we have to kick our Faith into high gear and trust that God knows exactly what He allows to be done, and your loss remains within you.
You will have good days and bad days.
This is normal.
But I promise you that if you keep the faith, and dedicate your life towards finding Him, you will make it through and one day, help someone else make it through.
A healthy diet is also a key component because malnourishment during a time of loss can create certain chemical imbalances, which create even more problems on top of the grief that you are suffering. Water is a universal healer. Water can do so many wonderful things for the body, especially when the body is going through such emotional rollercoasters. Water keeps chemical balanced in your body, with a special emphasis on the brain. It also feeds every molecule, atom, organ and tissue, with all the goods necessary to help keep your mental, emotional, and physical ability at a performing level.
So in simple terms, eat right and drink plenty of water, no matter how good or bad you feel. It can only help you. Also, as a fun fact that you may not have been aware of, use blue dinner plates and tablecloths. Why? You ask. Studies prove that the color blue is an appetite suppressant.
Job Loss, Divorce, Foreclosure
For many Americans today, living paycheck to paycheck is the only way of survival. How many times have we robbed Peter to pay Paul? Everyday for some. But more importantly, we need our paychecks to live. Whether we are planning our next vacation, or trying to pay a mortgage for the month, the bottom line is we need that pay. Therefore, you can just imagine the discomfort, stress, and unlivable conditions a person faces whenever he or she loses their job. It can be a devastating blow.
I am reminded of a close friend I know who worked at his place of employment for almost 30 years. Just a few years prior to his retirement, he was laid off. The loss of his job created a domino effect and he soon found himself in a state of depression. He went for months not wanting to be in the company of his family nor friends. He felt less of a man because he could not provide for his family. He began sitting at home, just eating and sleeping after having to go to social services and apply for a welfare check. He isolated himself from everything and everyone. It was a sad thing to watch.
Many do not recover from this loss. But you do not have to be one of those people. There is hope. There is a bright side and it starts with faith.
I cannot apologize to you and say that I am sorry if I offend you with my spirituality and my religion. But I am a firm believer of my Creator, as I know that the only way you can overcome such hardships as death and unemployment, divorce and foreclosures, is by drowning yourself in His word.
Let me be the first to advise you that there are many earthly avenues you can try to solve your problems on your own, but there are none as stable, promising and fulfilling as God and His blessings.
When you find yourself in a place of darkness, such as losing your job, or losing a spouse and even your home, you can do one of two things. Either you can let that situation defeat you, or you CAN DEFEAT IT!
Once you have learned the real values in life, you can still celebrate and praise the Most High in the midst of your storm. You will learn that jobs, homes, cars and even partners of unequal yolk will come and go, but God's love is everlasting and outlast any and everything you will ever encounter in life.
You should view these situations in a way that allows you to smile when you walk away from that job, because now you are freed up to enter your real destiny.
My belief is that however your life goes is the way it is supposed to go. This means, if you lose your home to foreclosure, it is because God has something better in store for you. And just because I am saying better, does not mean it is something bigger. Big things come in small packages. God may be freeing you and your money up, because His purpose for you is for you to travel more. Maybe your ex walked out of your life because it just was not your time to be with someone. Maybe, just maybe, you are dreaming too small and He is positioning you for someone more honorable than your ex.
I have had my heart broken many times before. But life goes on. And life is beautiful. Even after losing someone, after having your paycheck snatched from you. Life still goes on.
The key to moving on is to occupy your mind with positive vibes. It can be the word, it can be music. It can be just surrounding yourself with nothing more than the four walls of your room. Peace is a unique and most praiseful thing. You should seek more intangible things in life as they bring you much more joy than things you can touch.
Talk, talk, talk. It is a great form of therapy. Do not be afraid to voice how you feel. You would be surprised to find out how many people close to you are going through even greater struggles than your own. Voicing how you feel and listening to others also helps you to make light of your situation, while having sympathy for others.
And do them frequently as our time is very limited and doing the opposite makes for shorter days.
I hope this helps you at least a little.
And if not, I will try harder the next time.
You over there rolling your eyes and turning up your nose because you are jealous of the car I drive, the curls in my hair, the way my jacket matches my boots and how my clothes are fitting. You scandalized my name because you have troubled kids and 4 baby daddy’s and you saw a picture of me and my kids interacting together in a way that shows unity and assumed that we have it all together.
You are now gossiping about me, unable to look me in the eye because someone told you I lived in a glorious place.
But did they mention me being homeless prior?
I am, because He is. Let that sink in.
I have had many struggles to overcome in my life just to get to where you “think” you want to be.
I was born with severe heredity hearing loss.
I lost my best friend at the age of 9, which was my grandfather.
I was primarily raised without my biological father, being force to juggle my bipolar relationship with my abusive, yet disciplinary of a stepfather.
I rebelled against my mother and started doing devious things in school, even though I was a straight “A” student. I was a tom boy who was misunderstood. I ran the streets.
I also waited until my 12th grade year to completely destroy what was supposed to be the grand finale. So while other students were planning for prom and senior picnics, I was setting fire to the school’s bathrooms and lunchrooms. Skipping class just to roam the halls with my homeboys.
My assistant principal along with the guidance counselor tried numerous things to pacify my outrageous behavior. Then I got expelled. And life stood still.
I sat in my room for ten days with nothing but my reflections on what I may have just done being careless. Did I jus mess up my whole life with only 3 months of school left?
Wow. With prayers coming from my mother and grandmother, it was decided that I deserved another chance. I went to another regular high school, didn’t miss one day, never late or absent. Graduated. And I can’t tell you the joy over my heart to see my grandmother in the audience smiling from ear to ear, because she never did.
I went on to cosmetology school and started working. Met the alleged man of my dreams. I stuck a prayer in my bible stating that I wanted to get pregnant so bad.Got pregnant, which doctor’s told me I never would be able to do. Then lost my little man. He only lived for 4 hours.
Found out weeks later that the man of my dreams had a baby with another woman just 10 days before i had and lost my son. Found him two days later with yet another woman, while I was recovering. Mom told me not to go to his house looking for trouble. That’s what I found. Hit him with my car after cutting him repeatedly across the chest.
Suffered greatly. But I wrote a prayer and stuck it in the bible I got from my grandfather. My prayer stated: Lord, I don’t just want to get pregnant, I want to have a healthy baby.
Got pregnant and got the news on my first son’s birthday.A healthy baby boy. Blessed twice to have another healthy baby just 13 months later.
Thus my reason for always stating be careful what you ask God for. He will give it to you. Will you be ready to receive it?
Then, another fall on my heart. Lost my oldest brother to complications of HIV at the beginning of one year. Within the same year, lost my baby sister. She got hit by a truck.
That’s when life as I knew it ended. I went through major depression for years. It had gotten so bad that I started having major panic attacks and anxiety attacks. Couldn’t drive, eat, sleep, leave my house. For well over a year.
At the time, I had no idea I was going through a nervous breakdown. It wasn’t until many years later, when speaking with my doctor that I was told that I had miraculously recovered from a nervous breakdown.
Even after all of that, I went on to serve briefly in the military. I went back to school and got several different certificates and degrees. I was able to not only recover , but be an inspiration and blessing to others going through.
And I said all of that to say….you do not know what those you are envious of have gone through. Don’t hate on things that you would never want to go through in the first place. I didn’t ask for life to happen the way it did. But I don’t regret any of it and everyday I wake up now, I see the real reason I am still here….because LIFE….is for the living.
Don’t hate, congratulate.
Originally posted Oct. 28, 2015
She is beauty.
She is strength.
She is courage.
She is wisdom.
She is authentic.
She is a conqueror.
She is love.
She is humor.
She is an honorable wife.
She is an irreplaceable mother.
She is my best friend.
-A DoGood original written 02-1-12
Let’s face it.
We have Satan himself as president. The world has become more and more tainted and abrupt. The harsh reality that we as parents come to is if we don’t teach our kids survival skills as quickly and as young as possible, they will still hear about those scary and detrimental topics from the streets. The streets and schools don’t love our children as we do.
We would like to think that our children are angels and their little pretty ears and tongues are as sacred as the bible, but reality says differently.
I remember accusing my husband of looking at porn for about a week straight. I was cursing him out every day because at the time, no one else lived in the house except for his mother, our 7-year old son, and our 6-year old daughter.
One morning, after my husband left for work, my son came and asked me for password to my computer. With morning breath still fresh in the air, I lifted my head from the pillow long enough to blurt out the password and then proceeded back to another intimate session with my pillow being over protected by my saliva.
Once the kids went off to school, I finally got up and headed to the computer. Ads poppin up everywhere. I can’t click on anything because there is just so many X-rated popups. I finally make my way into the history logs and realize that my 7-year old son was the one who had been watching porn on my computer.
Funny thing is, when we confronted him about it, he was so innocently truthful about it.
“Son, is someone at school ‘touching’ you inappropriately?”
“…umm…it’s ok baby. Just tell mommy what going on.”
“Nothing, mommy. Sometimes I just think about girls a lot.”
What an eye-opening, jaw-dropping experience! Man!
I was so confused yet so happy. With all the same sex activity taking place in the world today, I was so happy to find out my son…was ALL boy. Lol. However, I was also confused because I felt as though he was too young to know of these things.
But just to play it safe, I sat my son down, explained the basics of sex and also diseases. It was at this time, I showed my children what herpes looked like. Some may disagree, but I felt as though I would prefer for my kids to learn about the harsh realities of life by listening and not always by experience.
We cannot always protect our children, though. But we can prepare them by following a few simple rules:
But what does this mean? They will do exactly what they want to do regardless of what we as parents tell them is best. So the next best thing to do is to keep it a ban with these kids and advise them to strap up. Ok. Sorry. For my older readers, keep it real with your kids and tell them to use condoms, jimmy hats, or whatever your choice of words are for your household.
You meet and you're glad to see she looks like her photos! You're out having a great time she is having fun in the moment and everything is great! We're both laughing, dancing, smiling having a great time because you have made her feel comfortable, secure and happy! Everything is going as you had hoped, you get a little kiss or a BIG kiss or something more....you say goodnight and part ways. The next day comes & it's like "everything was bad", naughty. Can't do that again! What happened? ..BAD GIRL! Did you get reprimanded by your friends or daughters? I'm confused, I'm still trying to figuring this dating thing out, it is not an easy task....Any tips? Please help by commenting. Stay tuned for Round 3.......
BEWARE!....SCAMMERS ARE TROLLING 24/7! I met a beautiful 41 year old girl online..... I was so excited that I attracted a younger woman! I asked her why why she would be interested in a 55 year old man and she said, "age is just a number" (1st clue). I was delirious because I kept looking at her pretty face and was thinking about all kinds of good, fun things we would do together! So, a few days went by, we texted & traded photos and she told me she was traveling to Nigeria, Africa this weekend on an AIDS mission, I wanted to meet her before she left, she said she'd try but ended up that she was too busy getting ready for her trip (2nd clue). Her mission was to help the people over there to live and cope with AIDS (her mom died from AIDS). I kept looking at her beautiful face thinking that she would be mine when she returned to the USA. We continued to text daily, she sent me selfies whenever I asked her to (this was part of my test to see if she was real), she sent which seemed to be current pics of her with co-worker in scrubs, this added to my belief. I continued to think she was for real and was doing a good deed for humanity. A few more days went by and we shared more photos and a few more laughs. The next weekend arrives and she tells me her mission planned a trip outside of the city on Saturday, to help people that cant make it into the city. Saturday comes & goes..... I did not hear back from her for a full day which made me concerned for her safety. Monday, she finally got back to me and told me that their van had gotten hi-jacked and robbed and she lost everything; credit cards, passport, money, everything she had in her bag. (of course her cell phone was in her pocket when I questioned that) It seemed real if you put your mind into it and care about someone. I told her I wished I was there to console her, but there was nothing I could do. (except send money) This was my final clue, when she asked if I could send her money. Playing along now, I said, "I will if you provide me with your full name, address and the name of your local Bank in Wayne Pennsylvania. She said, "what do you need that for"? I said, "if I'm going to send you $500 I need it". This is when she said that she no longer wanted to communicate with me! So, BEWARE because there are BAD people all around. Remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it most likely is not!
A very touchy subject, that affects more people than you know.
Some events are known to cause anxiety. But everyones level of anxiety and how their body deals with change and events in life are different. Yes, this we all know.
However, for the millions of you who suffer from more severe anxiety and panic, there is more to it.
Anxiety and Panic is the result of how your body reacts to something. Anything. Everything.
If you are like me, your first experience with panic felt as though you were having a heart attack (as though we know what that feels like).
Anxiety and panic go hand in hand and is one of the most common, yet most difficult sicknesses to explain from the standpoint of the person actually having a moment of anxiety or panic. It is difficult for you to tell someone how your heart is racing and your negative thoughts are racing and how you are afraid to do this, need to do that, can’t breathe, need company or want to get away from all these people immediately.
So, it is already a difficult thing to experience, but even more troubling to try to explain. But to add to it, it is almost IMPOSSIBLE for someone who does not experience these feelings to understand.
This within itself can cause an even greater amount of anxiety. Trying to figure out if you are going crazy, how long will this feeling last, will it ever go away, feeling lonely or depressed, not knowing how to tell your family or friends what you go through in fear they will just laugh at you or brush it off. Restlessness, visits to the doctor, and even medication and therapy you may be considering.
Don’t worry! You are not alone and there are many things you can do to decrease anxiety and panic. But first, you have to understand the origin of it.
You should also know that there is never a one solution that works for everyone. This goes for any situation. So do not worry if you try things and they do not work. The key thing is to keep trying and realize it is a struggle for many, but there is a bright side and you will see it.
9 times out of 10, anxiety occurs as a result of some life event. Could be big. Could be small. Doesn’t matter. In my opinion and experience though, there are a few different parts of this that are not talked about much.
Although these unfortunate things can occur as a result of a life changing event, say such as someone close to you dying, or having a baby, marriage or divorce…there is also something else to consider that contributes to the origin or anxiety and panic.
The condition of the mind and body at the time that a life-changing event occurs has a lot to do with how the body will react to that event.
Like say for instance, if you have a vitamin deficiency, or your body is dehydrated or brain is malnourished at the time this event happens, there is a good chance that you will suffer from future anxiety and/or panic.
At the end of the day, panic disorders are in short, a chemical imbalance. That chemical is serotonin. When you are already depriving your body and brain of the necessary nutrients needed, you cannot be surprised when your brain doesn’t cooperate.
This is one of the reasons why doctors try medications as the only thing this does is attempt to restore balance to serotonin levels.
However, before you run off to your doctor and let them experiment on you with various medications, here are a few things you can try to restore the chemical imbalance naturally and safely.
You wake up to your regular “Good Morning” text from the usual: may be your BFF, could be your kid, mom dukes, or that pretend-to-be significant other. You reply back with the common and expected Good Morning.
You finally open your eyes and sigh at the realization that it is now time to get yourself up and together and face the world’s music today, no matter how fast or slow the melody is. You even demand from yourself today that you will have a great attitude which in turn will produce a great day.
You say your prayers to the Most High and proceed.
You are now ready to face the world after you post on all your social media your positive thoughts for the day.
Before you get to work, you get that phone call which starts the negative path.
You get to work, your boss is being extra, you have some coworkers that you can’t stand the site of, some coworkers that can’t stand the site of you. You also try to overlook all of this and be productive, but then your day wouldn’t be complete without the circulating drama of the day.
Before lunchtime, your positivity has taken a setback, and you are now looking for the energy you started with.
And if you are like most that is of age to read this, you have at least a parent, grandparent, aunt, or other caretaker that you are now giving advice to or that may be in need of a helping hand.
You are trying your best to follow the word you heard on this past Sunday at church, but even some of the actions of the church now have you evaluating the worth of tithe giving and fellowship every Sunday. You notice that even while sitting in the church, there is gossipers, liars, cheaters, and other sinners carrying out there sins right in your face at the same time you are trying to receive a blessing of good word.
You gather with family, only to hear about who did what to Joe Blow and how aunt Vickie is not speaking to Keiysha because she owes her son-in-law 7.50. Your alleged best friend invites you out to a night of partying and drinking, even though she knows you are trying to cut back on your alcohol intake and settle down.
Road rage, traffic jams, baby mamma drama, rent’s due, car problems, kid’s working your nerves, parents sick, doctor putting you on meds, you’ve gained 5 lbs., you have no help at home, job doesn’t pay enough, taxes are high and everything else is low!
How do you keep your self in the “positive” so your well-being doesn’t go into the “negative”?
Reality check first. Face the fact that you cannot change others or their circumstances. You can only give a good word of encouragement and pray.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. And I repeat, don’t sweat the small stuff. So many things that you cannot change, you cannot change. So how doesn’t worrying about them or dwelling on them help? It can only help you to an early grave.
You cannot make traffic go away. So why get worked up about it. Instead, use this time to think of pleasant things such as where you would like to take your next vacation. Even if you know you do not have the money, just dream. This process retrains your brain and gives you a way to turn a negative into a positive.
When you start to get annoyed by family & friends, and even your job, just stop and imagine them not being there anymore. While yes, they all are a pain at times, but just think of how boring and lonely and hard life would be if you had no family, no friends and no job.
Your first thought may be, “Oh, I don’t need so & so.” And maybe at the end of the day, that person just may be someone or something that produces negativity in your life. Simple answer. Get rid of it. Don’t keep complaining about it, do something about it. Confront the situation or leave the situation.
Holding on to drama and negative vibes can have a very bad effect on your body and dampen your spirits. It can change your outlook on life, not to mention it can have you in the hospital or possibly suffering from depression.
No! Don’t put yourself through this.
You should respect yourself and your worth. Put no one before you and your needs. Yes your job may need you, your kids may need you. But if you continue to live for everyone else, your days will be numbered. It is wonderful that you want to move up at your place of employment. It is always a good feeling at the end of the day to feel as though you have accomplished everything you set out to do in respect to your kids and your obligations. If you want a cookie, everyone sells them. Good for you. Now.
When do you accomplish what YOU want to do in life or just for the day?
How often does the people that need things from you give to you?
Exactly. You will find that you will always have people and things depending on you. And that’s normal.
But in order to stay positively functioning, you have to make time for those things you like, love and desire. Big or small.
If you have a hobby, or want to visit someplace or someone, do it. If you want to sit at home and do nothing all day, it is perfectly fine and guess what? No one will die upon you resting your body and mind.
While life requires us to work hard and play harder. There was another part of that quote that got left off…..rest. Both before and after working hard and playing harder.
Lastly, invite others into your positive energy. Be a leader and not a follower. Lead that negative energy from others into your positive energy. One of two things will happen. They will respect and accept your energy and be encouraged to take part, or they will be pessimistic and walk away. Either way, you win.
Take charge of your life. Don’t let others dictate who you are. If you don’t want to be a part of negativity, let it be known and live your life in such a way that others have no doubt as to who you are.
Engage in more positive ways of thinking, even if they are unrealistic at that moment.
Retrain your way of thinking as it will show in your actions.
Rest. Pray. And stop trying to keep up with the Joneses aka the media.
Reconnect with nature and smile, as these things are just about the only things left that are free.
Did you know that some of the most prominent and most successful businesses are either managed or started by black women?
Outside of the stereotypical statements that have always been in circulation about the negative attitudes and outlooks of the black woman, it has to be blasted at this time about the positive effects the black woman has in the workforce and in the world.
What makes the black woman so different from any other race or gender? Her drive. Her passion. Her inherited gift of patience and direct way of dealing with stress and hardship.
The black woman is born with the necessary tools to nurture her children without sparing the rod or spoiling the child. The black woman knows how to allow her man to feel like a man while at the same time being his backbone in the midst of him doing so.
While everyone plays an important role in the various parts of this world, women—unlike men—are in a constant juggle with life and the important elements that allows a household and workplace to proceed without fail. We think in our sleep. We dream about our next task in the morning in respect to preparing kids for school, making sure our men leave the house pleased with last night’s sexual encounter, pondering on what to cook tonight. We hope by the time we get to work, we will have eaten something and we are not about to face the never ending headaches of work. Then the thoughts of our physical being, spiritual connections and rank in this world set in. As woman, we have been known to overthink, be control freaks and to over analyze. These same factors that are used against us also have a reverse effect in the workforce in that we use these same qualities to solve problems at work and allow us to become leaders that are very detail-oriented.
Thus, the workforce is no different. Not to bash or put down anyone else of a different status, but do your homework and you will find that black women have been the backbone for not only their men, but also some of the most successful businesses to ever exist.
Some of the more obvious names we tend to think of when it comes to successful black women are names such as Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama and Beyoncé Knowles. But there are many other successful black women that contribute to the overall makeup of the world as we know it. Among these strong women include, but are not limited to:
So I was speaking with one of my younger brothers the other day when he brought what I thought to be a very intriguing concept to my attention that I never thought was possible.
Of course, I am one of the many parents that struggle with the headaches and blessings of having a teenage child(ren).
So in the midst of me ranting and raving about my 18 year old’s concept of his future in general, my brother, being younger than I but older than my son, sends my mind into overload with information that I never once considered.
He, meaning my little brother, was simultaneously telling me about his own way of thinking and how he feels that college is not for everyone. I added on my musically inclined perception of how young artist nowadays sit back at home, create beats, add lyrics or a hook, and produce a hit in a matter of minutes.
My brother said, exactly….so what makes you think that such a brain of this capacity, one that can produce hits so quickly, would want to slow themselves down with college and learn slow, get results from college slow and so forth and so on.
He then hit me with the statement that the new millennials want instant gratification for their instant productions of work.
I’ve never once looked at the situation this way. I was the parent who almost died and went to heaven (or hell) when my son confronted me with the smack in my face of not wanting to go to college. I mean I was thinking like….WTH?!
But, in most instances, just as you have to work in a relationship involving the opposite sex, you also have to work and compromise in situations involving your children. You have to understand they are not you. They do not have the same interest at heart. Your passion is not their passion.
Ironically, at the same time of me fussing my children out for not wanting to go to college, I am sitting back staring at my student loan statement. A bill that may live longer than myself.
The hardest thing to do in this new millennial phase is to adjust and hop on board with the beliefs and actions of today’s society.
While you may not agree with any of it, you have to live in this new age of change.
So what can you do?
Talk. But listen more. Accept. And understand the world you live in is all about change. Take into consideration what your parents and grandparents used to say about you and your lifestyle. They always reminded you of how times are changing and that the music they used to listen to was of more value than yours. Life had more worth then versus now.
So it is the same concept.
Accept change and realize that in this day and age, success is defined differently. Quantity sometimes outweighs quality because quality as we used to know it has changed.
The new millennials want instant gratification because they instantly produce the work. Staying in school for 4 years to learn something they can learn on YouTube in 30 minutes concludes to many this is a waste of time.
GSD...what is it? Glycogen Storage Disease is a rare birth defect in which your liver is missing a gene. This disease is near and dear to my heart, my grandson Zachary was born with this missing gene. 1 in 100,000 children worldwide (1 in 20,000 in Mexico) will be born with this debilitating disease. It is caused by both parents of an individual with an auto-somal recessive condition each carry one copy of the mutated gene, but they typically do not show signs and symptoms of the condition until your child shows signs of "not growing", usually by the 5-6 month check-up. What occurs is the liver stores any sugar that the body does not use which in turn will enlarge the liver and cause problems to other organs.
The "medicine" for this disease to keep the child alive is.... are you ready... "cornstarch"! It is mixed with water & ingested or given though a G-tube every 2-3 hours. The reason cornstarch is so effective is that it is a very thick liquid (typically used as a gravy thickener) and it takes 2-3 hours for the body to digest it (it breaks down at the same rate as the body uses it). This dose repeated every 2 to 3 hours, 24/7, 365 in order to keep their glucose level stable, This life-saving natural starch is the lifeline for a GSD patient.
There is hope on the horizon! This disease has been cured in Maltese dogs! (GSD type Ia occurs naturally in this breed). Without treatment, all of the dogs die within hours of birth. Even with medical therapy, no dog with the disease had survived for more than 4 weeks when this work started and now they are all alive and doing well.
We are very excited to be starting human trials soon to cure this dreadful disease.
Sadly, this rare disease has no Government funding to find a cure because the numbers are so low. We, the families & friends create fund-raising events to bring awareness to GSD.
Thank you from all GSD people looking forward to a more normal life!
It begins with a physical attraction. This tends to be a negative for me because I am not photogenic. But the big killer is online sites require you post your AGE! Who wants to date a 50 something year old? I've been told I look 45 and of course I'd prefer that number. I have made contact with a handful of women in the past 4 months only to be ignored by them after chatting or setting up a date, they just disappear. It's also difficult because women 45+ are smarter, independent and wiser from their previous relationships, and most have careers and say they don't need a man (do they?). A couple of things that turn me off is they post their profile pics with their pets, I don't want to date their pets! (99% have pets). Also they post pics with 2 or more ppl, now how can I tell which one is you? And they make it clear, "not looking for a hook-up", but are they? Most women want long term relationships but as we know that takes time, but how much time? Remember girls, we are a male specie, so...maybe loosen up a bit! tick tock...tick tock...
Cancun, Mexico is a beautiful part of our awe-inspiring Earth. This paradise is bordered with the most pristine beautiful shades of blue ocean water that I have ever seen (as you can see in the photo)! The locals of Cancun are very nice and friendly, but beware, they are always looking for ways to take your money by selling anything they can. Mexico is a relatively poor country where most of workers fear losing their job if they deviate from any part of their job directives. Their pay is in pesos, the peso is equal to $0.05 American (it fluctuates with the stock market). It took me awhile to adjust to this conversion rate (I suggest learning before you go). They were very appreciative of all tips.
My experience started at the airport, I got my checked luggage and proceeded through the checkout line/customs where they make you push a red button which either turns red or green. Of course mine turned red, so they went through my checked suitcase looking for alcohol or tobacco to which they found none. I was not happy about them rummaging through my clean clothes with their nasty half-gloved hands. Next, I proceeded outside of the airport to find my shared shuttle. This was total chaos and disarray because there were hundreds of taxi drivers looking for a fare. I suggest taking one of those taxis to your destination. I made the mistake of trying to save money by taking a shared shuttle which is fine if your hotel is first on the list of stops. My hotel was last so it took about 1 hour to get there. Once I got there it was heaven on Earth!
I spent the first two days just chilling on the beach and snorkeling (I suggest buying a good pair of face goggles which cover your eyes and nose and a snorkel. Why rent when you can own)? The air temp ranged from 80-84 & the water temp was around 78, cooler than what I expected, but then again it was January.
The next day I ventured out and came across a tour/excursion booth located on the street and started talking to the guys. I asked for the cheapest zip-line/ATV tour they could give me and as it turns out my price was the cheapest out of anyone else that I met on the excursion (my price was $65 and other people paid $110 each. My advice is always ask for the lowest price and remember.... everything is negotiable. They don't want to lose the opportunity to their competition, they all need pesos). I scheduled the excursion two days later where the shuttle picked me up at my resort and picked up a few more tourists on the way to the jungle. After a 30 minute ride we came upon a sign that read "Welcome to the jungle!” Of course being a rock-n-roller I started to sing the Guns & Roses tune (they did have “fun & games”, LOL)! The 1st activity was zip-lining through the jungle on 9 different lines. This was my 1st time & it was AWESOME; FUN & EXCITING! Next, we drove our ATV's through the jungle and arrived at a "Cenote" (a blue lagoon) where we swam and jumped off 20' & 30' cliffs (my childhood confidence came back and I actually dove off the 20' cliff) into this beautiful natural water for approximately 30 minutes and then we headed back to our starting point. The tour concluded with two BBQ tacos served in an outdoor cafe style area, they were very TASTY!
My next adventure was to the island of Isla Mujeres (Island of Women). This island was off in the distance of my beach resort, located northeast of Cancun. As I looked at it every day and wondered about it, my new friends at the resort told me that I need to check it out! Of course there is only one way to get to an island, by ferry. It was inexpensive, only 200 pesos = $10 round trip. The ferry ride itself was exciting as we glided over the beautiful turquoise / blue water! The views were breath-taking! Once you arrive on the island you can rent a golf cart or a moped to get around (I forgot my ID at my resort so I was unable to rent one, which turned out OK because you will always see more if you walk around). I walked to the beautiful beaches on the north side where I snorkeled and swam with a starfish, a hermit crab & translucent fish (It always amazes me how creatures adapt themselves to be camouflaged with their environment). To the east side you can venture out and walk along the rocks and cliffs. This was the most beautiful scenery I have seen yet! Like any island there are many restaurants, gift shops, etc. This island trip was like going on a separate vacation, so plan on spending a full day there!
The next evening I headed out to the “hot-spot” in the hotel zone area which has many clubs & restaurants. There is a venue called Coco Bongo where impersonators perform acts similar to a Las Vegas show. This area was hopping. They had outside bars with smoking hot go-go dancers trying to lure people inside. Their problem was the girls were right there on raised platforms dancing around the perimeter so you don't have to go inside; not great strategy to make $$$.
If you’re concerned about the so-called "don't drink the water" problem from years ago, it no longer exists. All restaurants have water purifiers and a lot of them use bottled spring water. Also, the ice is made by purified water so I had no problems drinking or eating. With that said, it was recommended that I try the local brick fired pizza & let me tell ya, It would give any pizza shop in the US a run for its money! It's pretty sad when I have to go to Mexico to get a good pizza these days. (note to pizza shops; add more sauce/gravy to your pizzas, that what makes a pizza tasty!) Many people think that there is only Mexican food to eat while vacationing, which is far from the truth! From pancakes and French toast and bacon for breakfast to deli sandwiches with ham or turkey for lunch. If you are craving an authentic Mexican meal try the green scrambled eggs and cactus juice (exactly what it sounds like, juice from a cactus combined with mango or orange)!
Sadly, the next morning was my last day in Mexico time to head back to the great USA!.... I took a taxi for 200 pesos (again I gave him a nice tip for a safe ride). I was told to arrive 2-3 hours before my flight which was too bad because I was through security in 10 minutes after I checked my bag. The total time took 30 minutes (keep in mind this was on a Thursday, probably takes longer on weekends). I had time to kill at the airport to eat & watch a Mariachi band play a few tunes, which was an authentic cultural send-off back home! Make sure to use your PTO from work and SEE THE WORLD!
The workers are underpaid.
The clients are treated like habitual felons on death row for murder, because the worker’s are underpaid.
Most workers are evil and bitchy old over-weight hags who ran their men off with their unattractive qualities, now have spoiled bratty-azz kids to raise, and a bunch of bills … mad at the world for their mishaps.
They see all these other younger people trying to get their lives together and it gets them PO’ed. So their solution is to make your life a living hell while they can. Sure, they may be required to issue benefits….but they are not required to be happy doing it.
The word is…
You cannot see your worker or physically turn in paperwork to them. Yet you have to turn in everything via a mailbox. So you turn in paperwork, they say they never received it.
This dept is claiming to be switching over to a new system which in turn could have customers receiving benefits as late as 4-5 months later than their scheduled benefits date. Really?
You cannot call your worker because there is a .001% chance they will pick up the phone. When they do, they say you are required to turn in more paperwork…YEP, in that damn mailbox…that seems to swallow everyone’s food stamp-related mail. C’mon now really?
Whether you are an employee or a customer of FC DSS, expect nothing less than being treated like a criminal.
I got a chance to experience both sides: being a worker at FC/DSS as well as being a client there.
Fact is, I got the opportunity to work under not one, not two, but three very unhappy older white women who each let me know that because I was a younger black female they despised the grounds upon which I walked.
I remember my first supervisor telling me just two weeks after she employed me, "If I knew you owned a salon, I would have never given you a job here."
She allowed a coworker to falsely accuse, slander my name, and then advised me they would be getting rid of my position but I would be getting a "promotion". I then was turned over to another nightmare who ended up having the same feelings for me. Just hatred.
This writing is not to slander or even to speak negatively, but rather to inform you of the injustices that occur in many employer to employee relations.